You may be thinking, “Hey! If I inhaled my fart, and sniffed up all gases omitted, then no one will be able to smell it.”
But boy are you wrong, buddy.
Your scientific rationale may be that if your lungs are capable for air exchange of oxygen (O2) for the same oxygen molecule plus one carbon atom (to form carbon dioxide, or CO2) while filtering out toxins in the air, then it should be able to filter or neutralize some simple gases that compose a fart.
While this may be somewhat true, as your lungs are a filter of sorts taking in oxygen and exchanging these molecules for carbon dioxide while trapping dirt and some noxious particles in the air, your lungs DO NOT (and I emphasize DO NOT) break down the complex odor molecules that make your “wind” foul in smell.
The following is a hypothesis of why I think our lungs are not capable of such a feat:
Flatulence is composed of Nitrogen, Hydrogen, Carbon Dioxide, Oxygen, Methane, and a variety of sulfides that give your toot that characteristic bite. Many complex olfactory component gases (mostly the sulfides) are composed of a variety of molecules. Our lungs are capable of filtering out and absorbing oxygen from the other component gases that make up the air we breathe and the flatus we pass. While these vile smelling gases may contain an oxygen atom or two, our lungs are not capable of breaking apart molecules in an attempt to consume oxygen.
Therefore, when you breathe in the gases from a flatus event, you are filtering out the oxygen molecules from the remaining gases. In theory, attempting to filter your flatus may work against you. By taking out oxygen molecules, the remaining reservoir of gases is now concentrated. In theory, you would be adding more oomph to your original toot. Really putting the “art” in fart. The “ten” in stench. Carmelizing the onions.*
But, what if your lungs were capable of such a filtration wonder? Would you attempt to hide your smell by sacrificing your olfactory organs?
I know I would.
*The last metaphor is made out of jest and has no known affiliation to flatulence or flatus events as known by the Author.