There is a street in Portland: Couch Street.
Now, to any reader, this may read as a furniture item that one sits on, usually found in the living room area of a home. This is not the pronunciation of this particular street, however. Couch Street is pronounced as one would pronounce the word, “cooch” as in the slang of an anatomical female body part or the first part of the baby talk, “COOCHie COOCHie coo.”
Now, this has no relation to my story, but I thought that since I was on the topic of couches, I might bring this little fact to your attention, dear Reader.
I recently got a new couch. Well, not a new couch, but a used couch… which I found on the side of the street right outside my apartment. I know the following of this couch: 1. It was not sitting out on the side of the street for more than 5 hours, 2. It’s previous owner was moving and was thus getting rid of it, 3. It is extremely heavy.
Since the true detailed history of this newest edition to my apartment is really unknown, it has sat for a long time in quarantine in my living room undergoing many tests to determine if it is something that I really and truly will keep for use. So far, it has passed the bug test, the smell test and the comfort test. And to my very great surprise, I have found that it has been reupholstered. The old upholstering of this couch can still be seen through small tears in the faux leather exterior which is comforting to me because this tells me that the previous owner of this couch was thoughtful enough in preservation to reupholster this piece.
This led me to think about why I am so tentative to sit on it. If I were at a friend of a friend of a friend’s house and I saw this couch and was invited to sit on it, I totally would. I would not scrub it down with soap and water and have another go at it with Clorox disinfectant wipes prior to planting my tushi, yet this is just what I have done with this couch. Why is this?
Now, I was looking into buying a cheap used couch from Goodwill, so why does finding a couch on the side of the street make me less tempted to sit on it? I don’t know, but until I find myself a nice thick couch cover, I am not sure if it will be seeing much of tushie action it deserves.
Which brings me back to Couch Street. Why would you name a street “Couch” and have it pronounced “cooch?”