I go to the gym frequently/sporadically/rarely. To discourage the monotony of running on the treadmill, they have numerous televisions hanging from the ceiling, with various programs and channels on. On one end, the TV is always tuned to ESPN, no matter what sport is on, on the other end, Lifetime “Television for Women”, and in the middle, it’s typically CNN Headline News. When the gym is crowded, you are at the mercy of the next person who decided to get off their treadmill as to what you are going to be watching.
For me, this usually ends up being Lifetime. Go figure. But on occasion, I’ll be in front of CNN. I am not sure I would use the word “improvement” in describing it compared to Lifetime, but it is something different. So, that, at least, is nice.
But, what’s interesting, is what is consider to be “Headline News”. More often than not, the latest status on Britney Spears is their leading story. What Britney Spears is doing, according to CNN Headline News, is the most important thing that happened in the entire world that day. Something about that doesn’t seem right.
I understand sensationalism, and I understand that these celebrity meltdown cases write themselves and their headlines, or rather, write a type of headline, that for some reason, people find interesting.
Why is this? Why have things gotten so bad that it is no longer adequate for entertainers to just entertain us while they are doing their craft, but also, to do so when they are just out being themselves? Why has it gotten so bad that you have outcries like this?
I offer up a couple reasons. Some stated before, and one, I like to think, is all my own.
1. Vicarious-ism.
Probably the most used argument for this. It is the same reason we dig TVs and Movies and Pornography. For the most part, these things play out situations that we ourselves will never be in. Both the incredible highs and the incredible lows. I will probably never wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills, or be walked in on in a bathroom stall in the hottest club in town with the Olsen Twins snorting coke out of one either (Which is not to imply the Olsen Twins do drugs…). Following the escapades of most celebrities will let me see this go down first hand, from a third-person perspective, of course.
2. Train Wreck-titude
There is nothing we like better than a good old fashion train wreck. It’s why we rubberneck. It’s why we always enthusiastically take a whiff when our friend says, “Smell this, it smells awful” (Side note: this is probably the stupidest thing, as humans, that we knowingly and actively decide to do). We love us the drama, and will do anything to catch a glimpse. As bad as we feel for people, we get jollies from watching them go down in a blaze of glory.
3. Emotional Scapegoating
Stemming directly from train wreck-titude, it is our ability to watch the Titanic go down, and say “at least it didn’t happen to me”. Celebrities offer us perspective. Sure, we got problems and issues, but nothing we go through is as bad as having our vagina plastered across the internet (Side note: the fact that this has occurred here and here to name a few, makes me think these are more than just accidents. Links Not safe for work or faint of heart).
4. Jealousy
I hate that people justify their swarm tendencies on the argument “if they didn’t want all of the attention, they shouldn’t have become celebrities…”. That’s like saying “if you didn’t want herpes, you shouldn’t have had paid for the sex with the hooker”, which is to imply, when worded the other way, “you wanted herpes so you paid for the sex with the hooker”. Sure, some people got into it for the attention. Some people managed to get all the attention without doing anything. We are okay with people getting up in their grill constantly, because if they weren’t annoyed, at least a little bit, their life would be TOO perfect.
5. Nipple Slips
This is my reason. The only justifiable reason to trail any celebrity 24-hours a day, is for the off-chance of catching a nipple slip. Some celebs are better at protecting the “tv dials” better than others, but if you follow them long enough, and you take enough photos at all the right angles, surely, eventually, you are going to catch some goodness.
I haven’t decided yet, if all the trouble is worth it…